I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
