How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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