I wish i was in the wii world.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
