I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
