what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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