but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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