and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
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So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
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Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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