M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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