So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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