i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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