I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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