I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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