AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
