He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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