I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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