Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
