she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
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Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
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Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
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