i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
