I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
