you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
