Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We were destined to go to rehab together
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
