Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You have to summon your inner elephant
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We need a shit load of segways right now
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
