k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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