ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
