he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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