I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
