Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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