What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
