So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
