I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
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