Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
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i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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