You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
