Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
