only if we run a train.
done.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Randomize
