I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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