just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
