Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
