Where did you get a picture of my penis
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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