I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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