Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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