Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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