oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I could fuck to npr.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize