It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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