We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
