I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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