im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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