How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
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So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
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she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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