Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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