That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
