I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize