I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
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Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
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If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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