Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
