I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
