addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
