Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
