I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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