So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We left the knife in your bed.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
